Saturday, 1 September 2012


Conversion with a theist via my intercom

On this lovely Saturday morning who should drop by my studio flat intercom, but a door-to-door God salesman. The conversion began on the intercom phone with a croaky hungover groan from me that hopefully was recognised as a hello, and the bright chirpy reply instantly gave her game away. She was a stranger that wanted something from me.
"Hello sir, how are you? I have just been asking your neighbors some questions would you mind coming down and talking with me for a moment?" My heart sinks, I am undressed, it's cold and I have just realised that I drank to many ciders last night. How can she be so irritatingly happy when I am not? I indulge her with a reply.
"Oh right, what are your questions about?"
"Well sir, I am asking people whether or not they are afraid of judgement day-"
"-Scoff- Judgement day? Oh wow, yer, I'm sorry I don't believe in the supernatural"
"But Sir! This is not the supernatural, I am talking about the Bible!"
She's killing me, I was completely floored by this answer, I say I don't believe in the supernatural, she retorts with, the Bible, as if it has nothing to do with the supernatural. I was extremely close accepting her offer and answering her questions when I blurted out.
"The Bible, the bible was written by people in the desert, no thank you, goodbye" I hung up the phone.

Maybe I was a little rude to someone genuinely believing that they were doing a good, righteous act by invoking the fear of fireballs coming the sky, wiping everyone and everything out, and the good taken away to a mythical theme-park and the bad cast off in to the eternal flames of hell. I mean to go round reminding people to be good because Judgement day is definitely coming, to remind us, the spiritually knieve, that we face impending doom and ultimate judgement from my opinion is sordid and cheap. Am I scared of judgement day? I don't believe in the supernatural.